| I asked if she felt as if she missed out on anything by not going to
high school. Her answer: Yes, she would do it again without any
hesitation. And, no she does not feel as if she missed out on a "normal"
childhood. To her, she did have a normal childhood. What prompted me to
write this article was that one of my co-workers who has worked in
education for many years said "It's a shame your daughter had to miss out
on a normal childhood." Years later, after my daughter and I had already
determined that we had not only made a good decisions, but that we had
made the BEST decision and would follow the exact same course again, I was
still hearing the same warning, the same "its such a shame." One of the other accelerated kids was on TV recently and I heard a
reporter say the same thing. "Yes, she has accomplished a lot, but you
have to wonder. What about her childhood?" I just shake my head when I
hear it now. I realized that the people who are usually saying it have
never even met an accelerated child. They've never been exposed to that
world at all... So, they really are irresponsibly giving their "expert"
opinion on things that they know absolutely nothing about.
I can say that my daughter did miss out on some things by not going
to high school. She missed out on being exposed to drugs and alcohol.
She missed out on being exposed to other kids who don't take school
seriously and who misbehave. She missed out on cliques. She missed out
on gang violence. She missed out on sitting in a classroom, being told
not to talk from 8 to 2:45 every day.
My daughter's childhood was filled with after school activities. She
was on the soccer team with kids her own age. They practiced three to
four days a week. She was in dance class three to four days a week. She
took art. She was in the band. She went to summer camp. All with kids
her own age. She talked on the computer, had friends over and always had
loads of kids over for birthday parties. She was a founding member of
the Police Explorers in our town where she interacted with lots of kids
every week and throughout the summer. She knocked on doors for Halloween
and participated in Christmas parties. I would like to know what people
think she was missing after all of those activities. She also lived on a
college campus for two years, so she did not miss out on college life.
What is it that other kids do, that my daughter was not doing?
Here is what she gained that, sadly, other kids are missing out on.
She gained six years of freedom in life. She is now 21 and doesn't have
to sit in a classroom for half of her early twenties in order to finish
her degree. She was never stuck sitting in a classroom from the early
hours of morning to the afternoon. She sat in a classroom for three
hours and then got to take a break, walk around campus, relax and get a
snack .... on her own without teachers scolding her not to talk ....
without a hall pass. She got to learn to make her own decisions and put
her discipline into practice without a parent or teacher beating her
over the head to do her work. It is, in my opinion, a great age to learn
to be responsible for oneself. She also had the opportunity to gain the
respect and respect people of all ages. Just as you and I do not meet
and greet people by sharing our ages, neither did she. So she went
through most of her college life without many people knowing her age. Of
course, she would always tell them if they asked. But most of the time
they didn't. So she interacted just as any normal college student would.
After hearing about the great success my daughter has had, most
doubters at this point will inevitably say "Well she was a special case
then. Surely, she did not miss out on her childhood. But, other children
who have entered college probably did not have the same experiences as
your daughter." Watch my eyes roll. We do know other children who have
entered college around the age of 12 and 13. I assure you, they do not
have three heads and their experiences are quite similar. Yes, there is
the occasional child who did not have the wonderful experiences that my
daughter and the others have had. I have seen a few children who have
been damaged by being home schooled or accelerated, but they are very
few and very far between.
Would I recommend early college for your child? I can only share that
it was a great experience for us and I know of others who have had great
experiences too. Only you know your child. It is, indeed, a huge leap
for a 13 year old to interact with college aged students and professors.
In my experience, only very mature kids should attempt it. There are a
lot of mature kids out there. I've met many kids who I feel would do
very well in the college environment. However, each kid is different and
the most important thing in contemplating early college is that your
child needs to be on board with the amount of dedication it takes to be
a success in college. He or she needs to be willing to put in the long
hours of studying and meet deadlines. He or she needs to be able to
focus on a topic for a three hour period and be able to absorb the class
time as any college level student would.
Ah, I hear the doubters now saying it is too much work for a young
child to have to do. Sorry, wrong again. When compared to the nonsense
work that kids in high school have to do, it comes out to the same
amount of work. The difference is that the college work must be
formatted and presented in a more professional and polished manner than
the high school work. College students get to take breaks and have a few
days to complete assignments. High School kids usually have homework
assigned that day and due the next day. I think that is much more
pressure to have to deal with. College students also get a syllabus of
the entire semesters' work so that they can schedule their time
properly. I very rarely, almost never, see that kind of forethought and
planning in a high school situation.
If we had the choice to do it over, we'd both do it again. As a
matter of fact, we both say "Thank goodness that we had the guts to do
it in the first place." So, next time you hear about a young child
entering college, I hope you remember this article before offering
advice or passing judgment. Does it take a lot of work? Yes, it takes
the dedication, support and efforts of the entire family. There are
bumps along the way, but the entire process can be and has been very
rewarding. |
