|
|
TRIFLES
FOR THE
CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS.
BY
H.S. ARMSTRONG.
PHILADELPHIA:
J.B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.
1869.
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1868, by
HENRY S. ARMSTRONG,
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the
United States for the District of Louisiana.
TO
JAS. DAVIDSON HILL,
OF NEW ORLEANS,
A CHOSEN SCHOOL-FELLOW, A STANCH COMRADE IN ARMS,
AND THE TRUE FRIEND OF LATER YEARS,
THESE
"Trifles"
ARE AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED.
[Pg
vii]
CONTENTS.
| The Overture |
9 |
| A Christmas Melody |
15 |
| Story of a Beast |
29 |
| Leaves in the Life of an
Idler |
45 |
| Mr. Butterby Records His
Case |
71 |
| Diamonds and Hearts |
93 |
[Pg
9]
TRIFLES
FOR
THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS.
THE
OVERTURE.
Christmas! What worldly care could ever lessen the
joy of that eventful day? At your first waking in the morning, when you
lie gazing in drowsy listlessness at the brass ornament on your
bed-tester, when the ring of the milkman is like a dream, and the cries
of the bread-man and newspaper-boy sound far off in the distance, it
peals at you in the laughter and gay greetings of the servants in the
yard. Your senses are aroused by a promiscuous discharging of pistols,
and you are filled with a vague thought that the whole city has been
formed into a line of skirmishers. You are startled by a noise on the
front pavement, which sounds like an energetic drummer beating the long
roll on a barrel-head; and you have an indistinct idea that some
improvident urchin (up since the dawn) has just expended his last
fire-cracker.
At length there is a stir in the room near you.
You[Pg 10]
hear the patter of little feet on the stairs, and the sound of childish
voices in the drawing-room. What transports of admiration, what peals of
joyous clamor, fall on your sleepy ears! The patter on the stairs sounds
louder and louder, the ringing voices come nearer and nearer; you hear
the little hands on your door-knob, and you hurry on your dressing-gown;
for it is Christmas morning.
What a wonderful time you have at breakfast! There
are a half-dozen silver forks for ma, a new napkin-ring for you, and
what astonishing hay-wagons and crying dolls for the children! Jane, the
house-maid, is beaming with happiness in a new collar and black silk
apron; and Bridget will persist in wearing her silver thimble and
carrying her new work-basket, though they threaten utter destruction to
the beefsteak-plate.
You sit an unusually long time over your coffee
that morning, and say an unusual number of facetious things to
everybody. You cover Jane with confusion, and throw Bridget into an
explosion of mirth, by slyly alluding to a blue-eyed young dray-man you
one evening noticed seated on the kitchen steps. Perhaps you venture a
prediction on the miserable existence he is some day destined to
experience,—when a look from the little lady in the merino
morning-wrapper checks you, and you confess to yourself that you are
feeling uncommonly happy.[Pg
11]
At last the breakfast ends, and the children go
out for a romp. Perhaps you are a little taken aback when you are
informed your easy-chair has been removed to the library; but you see
Bridget, still in secure possession of her thimble and work-basket, with
a huge china bowl in one hand and an egg-beater in the other, looking
very warm and very much confused, and you take your departure to your
own domain, to con over the morning papers.
You hear an indistinct sound of the drawing of
corks and beating of eggs; of a great many dishes being taken out of the
china-closet, and a good many orders being given in an undertone,—why
is it women always will speak in a whisper when there is a man about the
house?—and you lose yourself in the "leader," or the prices
current.
The skirmishers have evidently suffered disaster;
for the firing becomes more and more distant, and at length dies from
your hearing. You are favored with a call from the improvident little
boy, who requests you to grant him the privilege of collecting such of
his unexploded fire-crackers as may be in your front yard, giving you,
at the same time, the interesting information that they are to be made
into "spit-devils." You are overwhelmed by a profound bow from
the grocer's lad as he passes your window, and you invite him in and beg
that he will honor you by accepting half a dollar and a handful of
doughnuts:—the[Pg
12] lady in the merino morning-wrapper has provided a
cake-basket full for the occasion. You are also waited on by the
milkman, who, you are glad to see, is really flesh and blood, and not,
as you have sometimes supposed, an unearthly bell-ringer who visited
this sublunary sphere only at five a.m., and
then for the sole purpose of disturbing your morning nap. You are also
complimented by the wood-man and wood-sawyer, an English sailor with a
wooden leg, who once nearly swamped you in a tornado of nautical
interjections, on your presenting him a new pea-jacket. And then comes
the German fruit-woman, whose first customer you have the distinguished
honor to be, and who, in consequence, has taken breakfast in your
kitchen for the last ten years. You remember that on one occasion she
spoke of her little boy, named Heinderich, who was suffering with his
teeth; and when you hope that Heinderich is better, you are surprised to
learn that he is quite a large boy, going to the public school, and that
the lady in the merino morning-wrapper has just sent him a new cap.
The heaping pile of doughnuts gradually lessens,
until finally there is not one left. The last dish is evidently taken
from the china-closet, and the whole house is filled with that
portentous stillness which causes the mothers of mischievous offspring
so much trepidation.[Pg
13]
You expect to see the merino morning-wrapper
reconnoitering the movements of your own sweet pledges of affection; but
she doesn't: you can only hear the ticking of the little French clock on
the mantle-piece, and the spluttering of the coal as it bursts into a
gassy flame between the bars of the grate, and you almost imagine
Christmas has passed. You are deceived; for by-and-by you hear your
children's footsteps as they skip over the garden-walk, and the sound of
their ringing laughter as they rush in out of the cold, and their clamor
rises louder and gladder and more jubilant than ever. Grandpa! Who does
not know him, with his joyous face and hearty morning greeting? How
resplendent he looks in his broadcloth suit, his gold-headed cane and
great blue overcoat! What quantities of almonds and raisins, of oranges
and sweetmeats, those overcoat-pockets contain! What child ever lived
who did not believe grandpa's pocket a cornucopia for all juvenile
desires? The day passes on. The turkey never looked browner or juicier,
and the blaze on the pudding-sauce never burned bluer; the kissing under
the mistletoe was never more delightful, nor the blindman's-buff ever
played with a greater zest: but the merriest Christmas must end. Your
little girl, tired and sleepy, kneels at your feet, and you pass your
fingers through her soft curls, while she repeats her simple prayer:
"God bless pa, God bless ma,[Pg
14] God bless grandpa, God bless little brother, and God
bless Santa Claus;" and you hope that God will bless Santa
Claus. You thank your Creator you are the master of that quiet
home and the father of those dear children, and go to your rest with a
heart full of gratitude. You hope that all the newspaper-boys, and all
the milkmen and bread-men's children, and all the little boys and girls
who have no fathers or mothers or grandpas, and all the poor, and all
the sick, and all the blind, and all the distressed, have had a merry
Christmas.
At a time like this, when the security of your own
reward relaxes scrutiny for the shortcomings of others, I would have you
take up these "Trifles."[Pg
15]
A
CHRISTMAS MELODY.
The Prelude.
"Twenty-nine dollars! Very well, Mr. John
Redfield: I think you have cut your allowance a little
low. With bracelets, bonbons, and other gewgaws for your interesting
friends, I must say your enjoyment of this prospective Twenty-fifth of
December is somewhat reduced. When a man has skated over the frozen
surface of society a little matter of one-and-thirty years, it is just
reasonable to hope he has reached that desideratum known as years of
discretion. There is a little adage relating to the immeasurably short
time the feeble-minded enjoy pecuniary advantages, which I think
decidedly applicable to you.
"A rather severe epigram, occurring in the
Holy Scriptures, goes to show the impossibility—even though the
somewhat unsatisfactory argument of the pestle and mortar be resorted
to—of separating the same class of people from their rather confused
ideas of the fitness of things. However, when the Mussulman, careering
over Sahara, finds himself, by a stumble[Pg
16] of his horse, rolling in the sand, with his yataghan,
pistols, and turban scattered around him, he rises quietly, and
exclaims, 'Allah is great!' I know a Christian would have expended his
wrath in a variety of anathemas highly edifying, and close by wishing
his unfortunate steed in a much warmer climate than the Mohammedan has
any idea of. I am a poor church-man: let me emulate the philosophy of
the simple child of the desert, and when I fall into trouble bear it
patiently.
"I wonder what the grim savage would do were
he short of money in a land thronging with beggars and other blissful
adjuncts of civilization? Woe unto every blind or club-foot man, and
every one-armed or scalded woman, I meet to-day! They shall work
out their own salvation with fear and trembling, or I'm an idiot.
"Why, bless my soul, the fortunes bequeathed
to all the novel-heroes created this century, would not begin to supply
them!"
Redfield shook his head decidedly when he came to
this part of his monologue, and put the gold and silver coins back into
his pocket.
"I hate poor people—I positively do! I
despise their pale faces and cadaverous expression. I detest straggling
little girls who come up to you and say their mothers have been
bedridden for three months, and all their little brothers and sisters
are down with the fever.[Pg
17] I know it's a lie. I can detect at once the professional
whine, and am certain the story has been repeated by rote a hundred
times that day; but for the life of me I cannot put out from my mind the
imaginary picture of the half-furnished room in some filthy back street,
with a forlorn woman with red hair stretched on a bed of straw, and half
a dozen or more red-haired children piled about promiscuously.
"There is a wretched little German girl,
always managing to have a boil either on her forehead or the back of her
neck,—I believe in my soul it's from overfeeding,—who follows my
footsteps like a misanthropic vampire. By what ingenuity she manages to
cajole me out of my money I know not, but I positively assert that in
the last fortnight, according to her account, her unhappy mother has
suffered from eleven different incurable diseases. My God! what a
complication of misfortune! Why not let them starve? When a man is not
capable of maintaining a family, why in Heaven's name does he ever have
one?
"I think I will follow the maxims of
political economists and all respectable members of society, and vote
beggars a nuisance. I wonder how many people to-day, praying for
deliverance by Christ's 'agony and bloody sweat,' by his 'cross and
passion,' his 'precious death and burial,' his 'glorious resurrection
and ascension,' and the 'coming of the Holy Ghost,' don't?[Pg
18]
"This is a charitable frame of mind to
precede a Christmas morning. When did I contract the habit of talking to
myself?
"I must be impressed with the two grand
reasons of the man we all know of: first, I like to talk to a sensible
man, and second, I like to hear a sensible man talk.
"I wonder if there is not something under the
surface in Sol Smith's charity sermon? I rather like its pithy style:
"'He that giveth to the poor, lendeth to the
Lord. Now, brethren, if you are satisfied with the security, down with
the dust.'
"I once repeated it to a gaunt little parson,
and his look of unmitigated horror caused me to hide my diminished head.
I knew from his manner—he did not condescend a reply—what chamber in
the Inferno was being heated up for my especial benefit. Well, well! the
sentiment is doubtless creditable to his head and heart.
"What a pity it is I am not one of the 'good'
people! What an agonizingly cerulean expression I would wear, to be
sure!
"I wonder why young mothers don't write for
their children's first copy Dante's inscription, and teach their baby
lips to lisp of the world what he says of hell. It's surprising to me
that that parson is not crazed at his sense of the certain perdition
into which everybody[Pg
19] except himself is hurrying. Perhaps, after all, there is
something in the question of La Rochefoucauld, 'Is it not astonishing
that we are not altogether overpowered at the misfortunes of our
friends?' Well, man learns something every day. When I first saw a
chicken take a billful of water and hold up its head, in my childish
simplicity I imagined it thanking God: I afterward discovered it was
only letting the water run down its throat. My mind, like good wine or
bad butter, must be strengthening by age.
"Why can't we take things quietly, as we did
when we were boys? I expect I had a rather comfortable time of it then,
though I did get whipped for tearing my clothes, and killing flies,
which I used to do worse than any bald hornet.
"Now, that youngster walking before me is
whistling like a lark, and, by the Lord Harry, he has scarcely a shoe to
his foot!"
He was a poor boy, perhaps seven or eight years
old. His face was pale and careworn, and though he whistled, it was a
solemn kind of whistle, that sounded more like a lamentation than the
outburst of childish gladness. His clothes were too thin and worn for
his slight frame, for the morning, though clear and bright, was frosty,
and his little bare toes peeping out of his shoes were blue with the
cold. He hurried through the streets with a bundle of papers, but, even
while intent on their sale, he had the walk of an old man,[Pg
20] and his small shoulders stooped as though they bent under
the weight of years.
Redfield eyed him narrowly.
"Paper, sir?"
"So, in this frenzied struggle after bread,
you are an itinerant vendor of periodical literature?"
"You mean I sell papers, sir? Yes. I've only
been at it three weeks. I'm 'stuck' this morning. Haven't got a good
beat yet. Paper, sir?"
"Have you no fears of risking your commercial
character by appearing on the streets in that unheard-of dress?"
The boy reddened.
"I've been sick," said he, at length,
"for a very long time."
"My Lord!" groaned the philosopher;
"here's another conspiracy against my unfortunate pocket-book! Why
don't your mother take care of you?"
"She did, sir; but she sews for slop-shops,
and has worked so much at night that she's almost blind."
"Worse and worse! and here's an outfitting
establishment just across the street. When will I acquire anything like
habits of prudence? Boy," said he, fiercely, "you are a young
vagabond, and deserve to starve. Your mother should be put in the
pillory for ever marrying. That's what the world says,—and what I
would think, if I wasn't a consummate ass. Were you ever blessed with a
view of the most unmitigated[Pg
21] simpleton the sun ever shone upon? Look at me! Look good:
I am worthy of a close inspection. Now come along, and see to what
extent my folly sometimes carries me."
He caught the boy roughly by the arm, jerked
rather than led him across the street, and thrust him bodily among a
crowd of astonished clerks who stood at the door of a clothing-house.
"Take this young vagrant and put him into new
boots, with woolen socks, some kind of a gray jacket and trowsers, and a
hat that's fit for a civilized age."
Seeing that Redfield was really in earnest, the
proprietor obeyed the order promptly, and in half an hour the boy
reappeared, rather red, a little uncertain, but decidedly altered for
the better.
"Now go," cried the cynic, with a smile,
and a shake of his hand, "and thank your stars the fool-killer did
not come along before you."
"Nineteen dollars and a half! Bless me! what
am I coming to? It may be laying up treasures in heaven; but, by Jove, I
had rather see it than hear tell of it."
The Refrain.
It certainly was the dreariest 24th of December an
unhappy boy ever had the misery of witnessing. In a vain endeavor to get
up an excitement, I expended my last fire-cracker; but the continuous
drizzle drowned[Pg
22] out every one. It was only four o'clock, and yet the fog
hung like a pall over the windows, and the gas-men were lighting the
lamps in the street. My mother, and an old schoolmate, Mrs. Mary Morton,
adjourned to the privacy of her bedroom; and, a pet navigation
enterprise, conducted in the gutter, having resulted in shipwreck and a
severe sore throat, I also was permitted to enjoy its cosey quiet. John
Redfield came in as the evening advanced. He had been sick; and my
mother, wheeling the lounge near the fire, made him lie down and have
something warm to drink. He and Mrs. Morton were intimate with the
family from my earliest recollection.
The four, in their childhood, lived near each
other, among the picturesque hills of Western Pennsylvania. They went to
the same school, played in the same woods, and now, in mature life,
retained the warm regard of the days gone by. I say four; for Mr.
Redfield had a sister,—Mrs. Hague, a pale, lovely little lady, who at
one time visited my mother very often. There had been some estrangement
between her and her brother, the particulars of which I never knew. She
had married, years before, a worthless kind of a man, who kept a
shoestore; but he became involved, the store was sold out by the sheriff
and since then both were in a manner lost.
John Redfield, though an abrupt man, and rather
eccentric, had as kind a heart as any one I ever knew.[Pg
23] He was connected with a newspaper in the city, and wrote
wonderful articles about police courts, that, somehow, sounded more like
sermons than stories. In my early days, before Gutenber g and his
movable types came within the scope of my knowledge, I believed he
printed out the whole edition with a lead-pencil, and entertained most
exalted ideas of his capacity. He had a passion for giving boys painted
boats. I must have received twenty—all exactly alike—at various
outbreaks of his generosity. He had the queerest way of bestowing favors
I almost ever saw. When he wished to make a boy a present, he shoved it
roughly into his pocket, and then started off as if the house was on
fire. What brought up the subject I do not now remember, but that
evening Mrs. Morton persisted in talking about Clara Hague. She spoke of
their childhood, of the old homestead, of the nutting, the
apple-picking, the cider-making, and the hundred other occupations and
amusements of their young life.
She had a vivid power of description, and a
charming simplicity in her choice of words, that entertained even me;
but I could see Mr. Redfield was troubled. He moved restlessly on the
lounge, and once drew a shawl over his face. At last she touched on the
shoestore, its doleful decay and downfall, and the years the unhappy
woman had struggled on. At this he started to go; but there was
something in her manner[Pg
24] that detained him. Her tone had been light and chatty
before; and, though she spoke with proper gravity, it was sprightly
rather than earnest. I did not notice any striking change; and yet it
seemed suddenly to assume the gentle impressiveness one sometimes
fancies we should hear from the pulpit.
"Whatever be her troubles, Clara has been a
good sister to you. You were the youngest; and a puny little fellow you
were then, with all your greatness. Many and many a time, in your
quarrels with other boys, have I seen her get into no end of disgrace
for defending you. Do you remember that old log school-house,
John? and our dinners under the trees? What baskets of berries and bags
of nuts we gathered in those woods! Do you remember the little run we
used to cross, and the fish you caught in the pool?
"And oh, John! do you remember that day we
started home when it rained? You had been sick, and commenced to cry. We
got under a big tree; but it was November; the leaves had all blown
down, and the rain beat through the branches. What disconsolate little
people we were! And when you sat down on a flat stone, and declared
you'd stay there and die, don't you remember how Clara went out in the
bushes, and, taking off her little flannel petticoat, put it around your
shoulders for a cloak?"
The strong man quivered; his face convulsed, and
the hot tears started into his eyes.[Pg
25]
"Yes! I'll be
hanged if I don't!"
He clutched up his hat, and was gone in an
instant, and the two women, woman-like, stood sobbing in each other's
arms.
The Air.
The thousand-and-one young gentlemen in blue
neck-ties, who for a twelvemonth, in frantic strains, varying from basso
profundo to piping tenor, had proclaimed their entire willingness to
"mourir pour la patrie," were engrossed at their shops;
innumerable fascinating trimmers of bonnets, who, like poor little
"Dora," religiously believed the chief end of man consisted in
"dancing continually ta la ra, ta la ra," sat busily plying
the needle, elbow-deep in ribbons; the consumptive-looking flute-player
before the foot-lights trilled out his spasmodic trickle of melody, and
contemplated with melancholy pleasure the excited audience; the lank
danseuse ogled and smirked at it behind them, and, with passionate
gestures of her thin legs, implored its applause; men, women, and
children, of all grades and degrees, crowded into the murky night; for a
day was coming when the youths of the neck-ties would not agree to mourir
on any account; when the flute-player would cease to be contemplative;
when the danseuse would forget her attenuated extremities; when the
whole world, where the grace of the Redeemer is known, would believe
that the chief[Pg
26] end of the hour, at least, consisted in
"dancing continually ta la ra, ta la ra."
Shall "The Air" ring with the joyous
notes of the carols, or breathe low and soft with the sighs of the
suffering?
Shall it burst into mad hilarity at the revelry,
or wail with the sharp cries of the poor?
It was a painted house, but the paint had worn
off; it had a garden, but the garden was choked with weeds; its two
rooms were once handsomely furnished, but the furniture was now common
and old. It was once a fashionable street; but fashion had fled before
the victorious eagles of trade. The tenants of that house were once
happy and prosperous. What are they now?
The occupant of the back room was a man, and the
occupants of the front room a woman and her children.
He was sitting at a rude deal table; before him
were scattered some dirty sheets of music, and around him the place was
dreary and bare. By the light of a tallow dip he was playing, in
screeching tones, the commonest of ditties and polkas by note. His coat
was once of the richest; but now it was old and threadbare. His hands
were once white and elegantly shaped; now they were dirty, and blue with
cold. His face once beamed with contentment; now it was worn with care
and marked by the hard lines of penury.[Pg
27]
The other room was darker, and, if possible, more
dreary. There were two trundle-beds in a corner, and four bright beings,
oblivious to the discomfort, in the happy sleep of childhood. There was
a mattress in another corner, with a pile of bedquilts and a sheet.
The fire had burned down to a coal. It shone on
the mantle with a sickly glare; and this was the only light there was.
To the mantle-piece were pinned four little
stockings, each waiting open-mouthed for a gift from Santa Claus.
Below them crouched a woman, weeping bitterly.
The woman was Clara Hague; and she was weeping
because the Christmas dawn would find those little mouths unsatisfied.
Our "Air" is getting mournful,—too
mournful for this hour of great joy. The Te Deum Laudamus, not
the Miserere, is for outbursts of gladness like these.
Let it sing of the carriage that surprised the man
from his fiddle and the woman from her tears by its thunder in the quiet
street.
Let it sing of the warm-hearted brother,
forgetting the bitterness of the past, his pockets replenished from a
well-saved hoard, who rushed in, startling the little sleepers with his
joyous greeting. Let it chant the praises of the hampers of wine, and
fowls, and[Pg 28]
dainties, and the bundles of toys, that same lumbering carriage
contained. And last, but not least, let it thrill with the glad shout of
a little newsboy, who, frantic with delight, hurried on a new gray suit
and a pair of bran-new boots, a present received that very day from his
then unknown uncle, John Redfield.[Pg
29]
STORY
OF A BEAST.
It was a dirty, grasping little office, vile
enough to have been built by the Evil One; and the occupant was a dirty,
grasping little man, cruel enough to have been made out of its scraps.
It was a hard, remorseless little door, that took in a visitor at a gulp
and closed after him with a bite. If the luckless caller happened to be
a debtor, the fantastic barbarity of his reception was positively
infernal. The jerk of grotesque ferocity that greeted him was like the
"hoop la!" of a demonized gymnast. The straight-backed chair
looked like a part of the stiff, angular man. The yellow-wash on the
wall seemed to have caught its reflex from the faded face, and stared
grimly at deep lines of avarice ironed into it. Even the mud on the
floor, the dust on the table, and the cobwebs on the ceiling maliciously
conspired against him, and asserted themselves in every seam of his
threadbare clothes. But the face,—stern, stony, relentless, an
uncertain compromise between the ghastly severity of a German etching
and the constipated austerity of old pictures of the saints,—in that,
one fixed idea had blotted out every other vestige of[Pg
30] humanity. Each starting vein, bone, and muscle on the
hungry visage had "stand and deliver" scarred all over it. The
eager metallic glitter of his eyes, the rigid harshness of his mouth,
and the nameless craving that seemed to speak from his lean, attenuated
cheeks, united to make the name of Hardy Gripstone and Beast synonymous.
He looked like a beast, he ate like a beast, he lived like a beast.
Beast started out of every bristle on his unkempt
head; it shone in the unhealthy gloss of his battered hat; it wallowed
on the stock that clung around his dirty neck; it glistened in the
grease on his dingy clothes; it starved on his thin, claw-like hands; it
flourished in the grime imbedded under his nails; it creaked in his
worn-out, down-trodden shoes. Men, as he shambled by on the streets,
unconsciously muttered, "Beast!" women, shrinking from him,
whispered, "Beast!" between the heart-throbs the terror of his
presence created; children, hushing their cries in silent horror at his
grimace, stared "Beast!" out of their wonder-stricken eyes.
You might bray him in a mortar and boil the powder in a caldron, yet
amid all the envy, hatred, and malice that made up the ingredients,
Beast would have triumphantly floated on the top. Beast! Beast! Beast!
Beast! The universal verdict clutched him like the shirt of Nessus. He
actually grew proud of the title, and received the stigma with a cluck
of beastly joy, as[Pg
31] though inspired with a certain beastly ambition to
deserve it. The laugh with which he hailed any appeal to his charity was
monstrous. It commenced with a leathery wheeze like the puff of
asthmatic bellows; it croaked with a grating chuckle, as if his throat
opened on rusty hinges; and then it broke out in a shrill vocal shudder,
that sounded like the shriek of a hyena.
It is an idiosyncrasy of mine to foster just such
pet abominations; and I cultivated Hardy Gripstone. My advances were not
encouraged by that overweening tenderness that indicates the possible
victim of misplaced confidence. Far from "wearing his heart upon
his sleeve for daws to peck at," it seemed to have been weaned
years agone, and my milk of human kindness fell flat as any whipped
syllabub.
Felicitous as were the suggestions of his
suspicious brain, it took me fully three months to descend in his
bearish estimation from a highwayman to a ninny. There was an
incredibility in my apparent lack of motive that puzzled him. His
dubious cordiality was doled out under protest. As an exhibitor would
clutch a vicious ape, he grabbed at every show of feeling, and almost
throttled the most pitiful courtesy, in his nervous dread of its doing
him some bodily harm. There was a low cunning in his very acceptance of
any little kindness. The sly way in which he insinuated his withered
face into my morning papers,[Pg
32] and the smirk of satisfaction with which he gloated on
the triumph of having gratuitously gleaned their entire contents, was in
keeping with every other ludicrous phase of his distorted nature. He
looked upon me as a paragon of stupidity; and I fear I considered him a
piece of personal property, and felt as much pride in the possession as
did Barnum in his Aztec children.
I do not think the acquaintance tended in any way
to exaggerate my ideas of human purity. Though it extended through
several years, no guilty act I ever heard of detracted from his deserved
reputation for beastliness. My surmises never ventured to the hazardous
period of infancy, or risked the doubtful thought that kith or kin could
have loved him; but I have often wondered if there ever was a
time when his rapacity found employment in the robbing of a hen's nest,
or his grasping ambition culminated in the swop of a jack-knife. I
wondered if in all the grotesque concomitants that congregated to make
up the hideous whole, there existed a redeeming trait. Yes, there was one,—one
I discovered in the tears that sprung from his unrelenting eyes and
rained on his cadaverous cheeks. What was the anguish that shook his
beastly frame? what the agony that tore his grasping nature? who was the
Moses that smote water from this rock?[Pg
33]
Dear hearers, it is here we find the text of the
sermon, and here commenceth the preaching.
Early one summer, the grasping little door bit to
for good, and I missed its mangy proprietor for probably four months.
Had he planted himself in the earth and regerminated, he could not have
been more freshened. His emaciated carcass fairly blossomed with
magnificence; and gaudy ornament sprouted all over him. It peeped
through his shirt-front in flashy studs, it twined on his fingers in
glittering rings, it trailed around his waist in glowing velvet, and
expanded over his thin legs and arms in a forest of broadcloth. 'Tis
true, the shiny collar would get over his ears, the coat-sleeves
darkened every sparkle on his hands, and the hems of his trowsers
persisted in being trodden under heel; but what were petty annoyances
like these, in a renovation so complete? His face had been shaved and
polished until it approached in glistening amiability the ivory head on
a walking-stick; but there was an uncertainty in its ripples of
merriment impressive of the belief that if once a genuine ha! ha! was
ventured, the galvanized look of joy would instantly vanish. It was at a
very uncertain gait he sidled into my office. He did not seem at all
sure I would know him, or, in fact, very intimately acquainted
with himself. The mingled gruffness and cordiality of his[Pg
34] greeting suggested a dancing-master suffering with corns.
It was a minute or two before his wonted calmness returned; but finally,
with a piteous look of blended tenderness and brutal exultation, he
handed me a card. It contained the handsomely engraved compliments of
Miss Florence Gripstone, and a hope for the pleasure of my company at a
soirée. This was the magic wand that turned penury to wealth and made
the sterile rock blossom with gorgeous flowers. The beast had a
daughter, and with all the ardor of a distorted nature he loved her.
If, a week before, Gripstone's soirée had been
hinted, I think I would have laughed; but if the assertion had been
ventured that it would be given in a stately house, with spacious
grounds, on a fashionable street, and with "Gripstone" on the
door-plate, I know I would have shouted outright. Yet the house was
stately, and the entertainment superb. Carpets glowing with the gorgeous
coloring of the Orient, pictures that had caught their delicate tinge in
sacred Rome, furniture carved from the solid heart of rose-wood, plate
vying in richness with the state service of a scion of nobility,
abounded. Fluttering in the light of many tinted lamps, rare flowers
breathed daintiest odors; and floating through the high arches, soft
music whispered plaintive ecstasy. In the center of a throng of recently
arrived guests, and positively cropping with broadcloth and Marseilles,
beamed the[Pg 35]
host. Close at his side, radiant in her beauty, faultless in its
adornment, stood the daughter. In one, a magnificent swallow-tail,
fleecy shirt-frill, and snowy gloves had stamped their wearer with a
look of hopeless absurdity; in the other, exquisite taste, gentle
dignity, and true courtesy bore the impress of glorious womanhood. I was
positively bewildered. Could the father of that lovely girl be the
wretch the world hooted at? Could the owner of all this grandeur be the
Beast I fancied my private property?
Carriage-loads of elegantly attired women crowded
each other in the vestibule; dancing beaux congregated in the
smoking-room; eminent merchants, with their wives and daughters, wits of
both sexes, women of the most exclusive ton, thronged the
spacious salons. Each in their turn was greeted with a smirk of
ecstatic glee. To Gripstone the courtesy seemed invested with a
proprietary interest. A nod was receipted with a simper, a grasp of the
hand with a scrape, the most distant recognition by the most obsequious
acknowledgment. There appeared to be no doubt in his mind it was all
bought and paid for, but it did no harm to be polite for once;
and comically polite he was.
I will not say he did not gradually begin to wear
the look of a man who had purchased an elephant; for he did. I found him
late in the evening posted behind a column and peering through the
window[Pg 36]
at the assembled merry-makers. It was evident he owned the whole party,
and that every ringing laugh went with the property; but to him it was a
novel investment, and perhaps more difficult to manage than any other
article he possessed. Partly from a dim consciousness that he had
wandered beyond his depth, and probably from the loneliness consequent
to so uncongenial a spectacle, a companion had become necessary; and,
when I approached, his jump of cordiality was as uncouth as it was
unexpected. So stunned were my senses by the extraordinary events, that,
had he cried out, "Come to my arms, my long-lost brother!" or
were a strawberry-mark actually found, I could not have been surprised.
As it was, his frenzied tugs at the lapel of my coat threatened its
immediate destruction, and my spinal column ached under his demoniac
slaps on the back, before I gasped out my congratulations.
Wine, excitement, or the society of one who at
least had treated him with common decency, warmed the little geniality
that remained in him.
With a jerk he thrust me into his study, and,
while thrilling music swept through the echoing halls, and the solid
flooring swayed under the feet of the dancers, the Beast opened his
heart. Shrinking, as though 'twere felony, from the penury of early
life, flying from a brief hour of married happiness, in wild triumph he
plunged into the dreariness of the upward[Pg
37] struggle. Maddened with success, spurning all thought of
concealment, with shocking exactness he entered into every detail of the
contest, every incident in the appalling history. The low cunning and
miserable privation that accumulated the first paltry hundreds, the
trickery that made them thousands, the heartless sacrifice of
self-respect that doubled and trebled the swelling store, were gloated
over with a grin of delight. Transactions imbued with a depravity that
made me shudder, were narrated with a chuckle; chicaneries of a depth
and maliciousness positively devilish, were touched with a smirk. For this
he had lied and cheated; for this his wretched body grew lean for
want of food; for this all the world loathed him. In his
youth poverty crushed him; but his little girl, away at school,
never knew the meaning of the word. Widows went portionless, but she
did not want; orphans starved, her platter was always full. He
had been spattered by the coaches of the rich; but now his chariot, and her
chariot, would take a drive. They had called him Beast; but now
they called him gentleman.
The hundreds who drank his wine and trifled with
his sweets called him gentleman, and hundreds more were ready to go down
on their knees to his own flesh and blood. Now was the time to enjoy,
now the day of happiness. Money was a drug; in his abundance, he could
never want. He had love, grandeur,[Pg
38] troops of friends; now he would live a monarch.
Flushed with victory, his eyes blazed, his voice rang clear and loud in
its exultation, and his lank form swelled with defiance. Springing to
his feet, and clutching up a decanter, he waved it wildly around his
head, and, challenging God or man to mar such peace, shivered it on the
floor.
Wonder-stricken at the intensity of his vulgarity,
and shocked at the sacrilege, I left; and from that moment Hardy
Gripstone became a study. Every step in his tortuous course, every phase
of his ostentation, every enormity on good taste, was followed with
ceaseless vigilance. Excesses that would have startled the most
thoughtless were pursued with restless activity; absurdities that drew
forth a shout of ridicule were committed with provoking good humor. No
freak seemed exuberant, no folly preposterous, no extremity
extravagance. The joy of paternity, sinking deep into his nature, made
every peculiarity more glaringly apparent. Money had been his idol, its
accumulation the summit of his ambition; its reckless sacrifice in his
daughter's honor appeared the only adequate expression of his love. The
intervals of his devotion were passed in idle boasting, and to me he
detailed every incident. There was something really touching in the
abject way in which he mentioned each trifle concerning her. Little
circumstances connected with her daily life were described[Pg
39] as one would describe the traits of some rare animal. His
career of degradation seemed to have blunted every idea of
responsibility. He looked upon her as a superior being, and her
adornment as a sacred duty. The richness of her toilet, the magnificence
of her equipage, the glory of her beauty, became an inexhaustible
surprise and delight. The utter lack of congeniality, the barrier of
caste that divided them, was indescribably sad. Rapturous admiration,
gentle amazement, blind idolatry, meek bewilderment, the one twisted by
brutality to a living distortion, the other lifted by refinement to the
embodiment of womanly grace; and yet they were father and daughter. To
do her justice, she strove in every way to testify her love and
gratitude for her strange parent; the ties of blood asserted themselves
in her words and caresses, but they looked doubtfully out of her eyes.
Educated far away from him, and amid other associations, she could not
be blind to his faults and shortcomings. The social gulf that divided
them, though bridged by her sense of duty, was ever present in her
thoughts. I mourned over the remorseless avarice that made him what he
was; I almost regretted the culture that placed her so far above him;
but, knowing the rude shocks to her sensitive nature, the ruthless
trampling on every womanly instinct, I mourned for her the most.
Alas for the schemes of prosy men and women![Pg
40] when tender Loveliness goes airing herself through shady
lanes, frank young Valor is seldom far off. The Eurydice may be only a
school-girl, and Orpheus a brave, manly boy in a blue coat; but there is
a world of heart-fluttering, for all that. The flush of conscious beauty
blooming on the cheek of one, is generally a shadow of the warm red that
mantles the face of the other. While Eurydice Gripstone mused in quiet
nooks, it was no fabled youth of magic lyre who sent the rhetoric and
botany waltzing through her brain; and when the fierce cry of
"Lights out!" hurried Jane Eyre under the pillow, it
was no dream of impossible mustaches that made her hear the clocks chime
dismally and the cocks crow for midnight.
When the long-looked-forward-to Commencement-day
was at length looked on, and our heroine tripped up to the
platform to read her Essay on Filial Affection, alas for its
consistency! it was not the grin of Pluto Gripstone staring stupidly at
the show, but the smile of Orpheus, now blessed with a strong beard,
that set the recipient of undying fame a trembling. And now, when the
farewell had been said, and Orpheus left to break his lyre and
mourn,—when Pluto had carried home his prize and the dreary occupation
of being as extravagant as possible had commenced,—they were no notes
of weird pathos, but billets containing many brave promises, that made[Pg
41] strong coffee the most delectable of drinks. Of course
all these changes from dreamy reverie to tremulous joy could not escape
the searching eye of Pluto; and of course, when questioned, no Eurydice
of spirit would think of denying the mate for whom she pined.
Oh, the consternation of the discovery! Oh, the
thunders of remonstrance with which Hades resounded! The wheel of Ixion
might whirl, and the pitchy depths blaze with the fires of indignation,
but all this did not dry the tears of the nymph, nor soothe her
bitterness of woe. Every tenderness that could reconcile, every
enjoyment that could wean, was vainly essayed; mourning for her Orpheus,
she would not be comforted.
At last the Plutonian shadows opened to receive
the matchless man. It was with no impossible burst of harmony he charmed
away the terrors of this prison-house of injured innocence. Whatever
might have been the Orpheus of the fabled "long ago," our
modern hero was a plain, business-like man. He thought a great deal of
the daughter, but for her worn-out old hulk of a father he didn't care a
button. Married he was determined to be, nolens volens; and that
was the long and the short of it. To a piteous plea to remain and enjoy
the old man's wealth, he turned the deafest of ears. Business required
his presence at home; where business commanded, he obeyed; and that was
the long and the short of that.[Pg
42] He didn't propose to set up a museum of
deformities, if the daughter did; or stay to witness a burlesque on the
society he was brought up in, were she never so dutiful.
Oh, the misery of this reality! When shall I
forget the anguish on that cadaverous face, when the terror of the
narration? For nineteen years he had patiently plodded on, despised by
the rich, hated by the poor, spurned by both. He had driven hard
bargains that she might drive her carriage; he had turned his wretched
debtors houseless into the streets that she might be covered. With every
spark of love in his heart, with every instinct of tenderness in his
soul, he had bowed down and worshiped her. She had him all: he would set
to work anew, were it needful, for her sake; he would go in rags for
her; he would starve for her; and this was his reward!—his happiness
filched from him by a whipster of a day's acquaintance!
When two people, like the frogs of Æsop, conclude
to plunge down a well for the waters of happiness, it is generally the
"weaker vessel" who dallies. Let no one suppose our Eurydice
quitted the blissful innocence of nymphhood without a struggle, or
coolly deserted her battered old father without a regret.
With all the golden halo that hung about the
future, there were walks taken in those gardens in which the claw-like
hands and tapering fingers clutched each[Pg
43] other very tightly, and there were sudden bursts of
emotion when the cadaverous cheeks were well-nigh smothered with kisses.
If you or I had had an interview with the pillow that adorned her
chamber, it would have told us of many a scalding tear that damped its
purity and many a smothered sob that fell on its feathery ears. If there
were red eyes and pallid cheeks at the breakfast-table on one side,
there was a very dismal face on the other. Step by step the hard fact
sunk into it, and furrow after furrow marked the progress. It was very
glorious for Orpheus; but it was very gloomy for the Beast, and he knew
it. Bravely did the old man hold out, and grim and silent was the
surrender. Perhaps a dawning light of their ill-assorted association,
and a fear for its influence on her happiness, might have opened the
sally-port to the conqueror; but he never admitted it. He laid down his
arms as coldly and quietly as ever any old Spanish knight gave up his
citadel.
Once more the stately house opened wide its doors
to a stately gathering, and again there was music and dancing and
feasting. There were scores of richly-dressed women to kiss the bride,
and there were scores of brave men to congratulate the groom; but there
was not one in all that fair company had a kindly word for Hardy
Gripstone, and of all the throng who feasted that night there was not
one saw his broken heart.[Pg
44]
From the hour the creaking steamer bore the happy
pair to their Northern home, he slunk out of society. The great house
was closed, and the little office, dirtier and more grasping than ever,
opened. Every witness to his outburst, myself included, was studiously
avoided. I met him often; but no sign of recognition escaped him.
Some months afterward, in passing his filthy
little street, I found the remorseless little door had gulped a
policeman. Pulling apart its ferocious jaws, and peering in, I saw the
straight-backed chair; but the body which seemed a part of it was much
stiffer and more angular. The yellow-wash on the wall was a paltry
reflex of the ghastly yellow of his faded visage; for the iron face was
the face of a corpse.
Men who stood vacantly staring in muttered,
"Beast!" women, shrinking from the unsightly spectacle,
whispered, "Beast!" and children, gazing in silent horror with
the rest, stared "Beast!" out of their wonder-stricken eyes.
So hard did they stare, so loud did they mutter, and so many instances
did they rehearse of the foul wrongs he had committed, that I am
doubtful about the matter myself, and ask you, reader, Was he a Beast?[Pg
45]
LEAVES
IN THE LIFE OF AN IDLER.
Leaf the First.
When a man whom you have every reason to believe
not only the coolest, but the most unimpressible, of beings, suddenly
turns white as a ghost and shivers with a nervous spasm, it is safe to
suppose he is frightened. But when terror, turning into rage, changes
one of the most attentive and respectful of servants into a madman, it
is scarcely safe to suppose anything. As it was, I stared in mute
amazement, and he glared at me as though I had struck him. While waiting
for a light, I carelessly put my hand into a basket of hot-house
vegetables. The small egg-plant I took up certainly did weigh
twenty pounds, and when I attempted to lift the basket the handle bent
double; but why this should frighten a man like Marcel, or provoke him
to anger, is as inexplicable as it is surprising.
He is pacing up and down the hall in a state of
the wildest excitement; and I, with man's truest
comfort,—tobacco,—am left to my meditations.
What combination of circumstances reduced him to[Pg
46] a porter, I cannot for the life of me imagine. His hand
is as soft as a woman's; and his brow has a breadth of brain that would
dignify a Senator. Notwithstanding the scrupulous deference in his tone,
his manner possesses the quiet ease of a gentleman, to as great a degree
as any I ever saw.
The utter incongruity of his appearance and
position struck me the moment I laid eyes on him. He flourished his
napkin with the dainty grace of a courtier; and when he lifted my
luggage to his shoulder, I was on the point of apologizing. He makes my
bed, polishes my shoes, performs with fidelity the most menial offices;
and yet I cannot but look upon him as an equal. Poor devil! His
cheek may burn with the bluest blood in France. What a pity the world is
not moral!
There is something enchanting to me in smoking. It
is like a rich cordial,—nerving every faculty to action. A draught
from your Cabanas, the pulse quickens, the mind clears, and
thought awakes, like a fine instrument under the magic touch of a
master. The wind moans drearily without, the rain beats dismally against
the windows, the fagots flicker blue-flamed and weird in the dark
recesses of the chimney-place; but what care I? The white walls are
lurid in the flare, the great bed stands out in the darkness like a
grotesque engine of the Inquisition; but who suffers? Au troisième,
No. 30, Rue[Pg 47]
Lepelletier, was never noted for its comforts; but who would ask a
repose more secure, a peace more perfect, than are enjoyed by the
occupant of this rambling old house? Blessed be the earth that bears
this solace for weary brains! Its very odor is pregnant with dreams of
the Vuelta Abajo. You see the luxuriant foliage of the tropics,
the dark-green waves curling on the coral beach, and the scarlet
flamingoes that gather shell-fish in the marshes away off in the golden
sunset. You hear the wild song of the Spanish fruit-man as he sculls his
boat along the broken wharves, and are soothed into utter listlessness
by the thousand perfumes that come off with the land-breeze. A taste of
the fragrant vapor, you recline in the odorous orange darkness of a
dream-land, languidly breathing the smoke from your hookah, and the
lustrous leaves moving over you are bathed in the soft and melting
sunshine. The day lingers luminously over far mountain-ranges, paling in
brilliancy on the hill-side, where the blushing vine, bending with the
clusters, is still enlivened by the song of the vintagers; and in the
valley, where the grain sheds its gold under the sickle. You are lost in
voluptuous reverie. You breathe the sunlight; intellect is thawed and
mellowed; emotions take the place of thought; "your senses, sun-tranced,
rise into the sphere of soul." You feel the heart of humanity
throbbing through all nature, and your own warms into quivering life.[Pg
48]
"It is not good for man to live alone;"
and you dream of another to share the rapture your wild fancy has
created.
Your Haidee is pure. Her form has rather
the statuesque roundness of Psyche than the luxurious excess of Venus.
Timid, yet not tremulous, graceful even to delicacy, coquettish in
outline, her beauty is formed for smiles. She is a still-eyed
Xenobi, but knows nothing of Passion with disheveled locks, divine
frenzy, and fiery grasp. She is your friend and comforter; and you are
the strong rock her helplessness clings to. Your uncouth manner softens
as you behold her troubled look. You become kind and considerate. You
watch with pity the pinched faces of anxiety that pass before you. You
cheer the little beggar, and give him of your abundance. Unhappy
wanderer! he has started early on his wretched pilgrimage for bread.
"Your heart, enlarged by its new sympathy with one, grows bountiful
to all." The fragrant smoke curls in heavier clouds, and is wafted
imperceptibly into the darkness. Ah, Arthur Granger! Arthur Granger! you
are dreaming impossibilities, as the man athirst dreams of flowing
waters.
"Love has lost its wings of heavenly azure
with which it soared light as a lark into the empyrean, and now grovels
on the earth, weighed down by the burden of red gold."
How well I recollect that warm, balmy March[Pg
49] morning! My mother had sent me to Paris about six months
before, to read law with an old relative. Of course I was delighted; but
that day I felt tired of the dull routine of my life, and longed for the
green fields, waving trees, and wild mountain-torrents of my home. I was
walking slowly down the street, thinking gloomily of the labors of
another day, and she was standing near a school-house door, intently
occupied in giving some directions to an old soldier. In my whole life I
do not think I ever saw a more beautiful creature. The airiness of the
lithe little figure, the playfulness in the nod of the graceful head,
the look of joyous innocence on that perfect face, flitted through my
mind like a bright ray of sunshine during the entire day. Every morning,
for years after, I met that child; and every morning her beaming smile
cheered my young life like a glimpse of heaven. I never spoke to her; it
was a long time before she even knew of my existence; but by-and-by I
noticed a quizzical expression come over the old man's face, and I saw
her features warm with a faint flush of recognition. How many dreams I
based on that slight fabric! Of course I discovered her name; and of
course I learned that her father was very rich; but what was that to me?
With what pride did I gaze at his name in huge gilt letters on a great
warehouse near us, and what wonderful little gothic cottages did I build
on the strength of the "and Son" that would shortly be[Pg
50] added to it! The long nights with my cousin became less
wearisome. I could hear the dull creaking of the letter-press, and see
him sit poring over his writing, quite patiently. When the organ-grinder
stopped on the corner and played "Make me no gaudy chaplet," I
did not long to rush into the streets, for I had her to think
about. When the clock struck eleven, and my cousin, with his peculiar
"phew!" commenced another letter, I looked on quite calmly,
and began the construction of another cottage. Of course there were
rainy days, and Thursdays that were ages to me; and there were Christmas
holidays, and long, hot vacations, that she did not come; but September
brought back the radiant face, and I worshiped on.
Gradually I noticed a change in her dress. She
wore little lace collars, and bright ribbons I had not seen before; and
sometimes she carried a little bouquet of violets, with a white rosebud
in the center. As she grew older, I had many rivals. Gallant youths,
brave in broadcloth and beavers, followed by dozens the Picciola
I had watched so tenderly. How proudly I passed them by! and how I
sneered at the thought of their understanding her!
I saw her form grow fuller and expand into a more
queenly beauty. I saw her eyes sparkle with a diviner light, and her
bosom swell with new and strange emotions. I watched her until she
became a woman, and gloried in her matchless loveliness.[Pg
51]
At last the end came. One morning, the brown
calico frock was changed for an India silk, and the little school
bonnet, with its blue veil, for a new one, covered with artificials. She
was accompanied by an elderly lady, and looked nervous and excited. I
was troubled at the tremulous, uncertain expression of her face. The
next day I read her name in the list of graduates.
It does generally rain at picnics; but this time
it didn't. When shall I ever forget that picnic? I stole a holiday to
attend it. It was late when I arrived: the dinner was over, and I had
one prepared expressly for me. Would you believe it? my fair attendant
was the little Blue Veil. She was so kind and so gentle, and treated me
in such a confiding, sisterly way. There was a tenderness in the soft
depths of her eyes, a purity in the dazzling loveliness of her face,
that my heart yielded to with the blind fervor of a devotee. When shall
I ever forget that evening walk under the trees? Oh! those buttercups
and daisies, and little Quaker ladies! what recollections they bring
back to me! The pressure of that soft little hand on my arm, the timid
grace of her manner, the sound of her clear, girlish voice, with what
emotions have they stirred my soul! Heaven bless her! Thank God for that
one glorious picture! It was years ago; she is married now, and the
mother of children; yet even now I sometimes catch myself standing on
the corners and gazing[Pg
52] wistfully down the street for the bright image that stole
into the morning of my young life like a soothing dream in a long,
troubled sleep.
Leaf the Second.
Gardening in midwinter!—what new freak has taken
possession of that eccentric man? The morning broke dank and drear, for
the December air had chilled the moisture into a fog. The wide verandas
that opened on the court-yard in rear were dripping with the rain, and
the broad flag-stones covered with a greasy slime. The diminutive
grass-plot was brown and soggy, but the withered blades rapidly
disappeared under the sturdy plunges of Marcel's spade. I had gone out
on the gallery to fill a ewer with water—in his excitement of the
previous evening, Marcel had forgotten my morning bath—and saw him
distinctly through the jalousies. He must have commenced at
daylight; for, though it was then early, the ground was almost entirely
dug up. Near him, on the pavement, was the basket over which he had
displayed so much agitation. He prepared six holes, each of which was
carefully lined with straw, and then deliberately commenced planting the
egg-plants whole.
An hour or two later, he came up with the coffee.
I thought he turned a shade or two paler at seeing me up and dressed;
but no vestige of petulance remained.[Pg
53] Having really taken no offense at the outburst, I rallied
him concerning it.
"I was wrong," said he, gravely;
"but nature has left me destitute of tact. An artist was once
ordered to paint a one-eyed princess: the artful man made the picture a
profile. Devoid of his discernment, I saw only my ruined
treasures."
"And, after acting like a wild man, you sneer
at my curiosity."
"One so secure in his position as M. Granger
can lose nothing by forbearance."
"In other words, I am to endure patiently the
taunts of an apron, because its wearer is worthy of a surtout?"
"The prompt nature of hunger is well known.
Fifty years ago, I might have shrieked in the Place de la Concorde.
France has degenerated; I polish your shoes."
The assumption of inferiority was so defiant that
I said, bluntly, "This can never excuse the neglect of faculties
bestowed by Heaven."
He shrugged his shoulders, and answered,
"There was a time when power succumbed to intellect. 'Stand out of
my sunlight,' said Diogenes to Alexander; and Alexander did so. This is
Paris, M. Granger, and we are living on the Rue Lepelletier."
"And, frightened at its splendor, M. Marcel
has prudently determined to put his brains under regimen."[Pg
54]
"M. Marcel has prudently determined to avoid
in future a tête-à-tête with his superiors."
He started abruptly to the door, and I called him
back; determined distance even in a servant is far from flattering, and
I asked him frankly if his visits to my apartments were as distasteful
as his manner would lead me to infer.
He answered, politely, "Were fickle Fortune
waiting to conduct me to the summit of my ambition, I would detain her a
few hours to enjoy society so charming; but M. Granger forgets he is
addressing a domestic."
"Stubborn in your pride to the last! What am
I to think of one who holds all sympathy in contempt?"
"Basta!" he fiercely exclaimed.
"I am like a vagrant cur: flying from the sticks and stones of a
vile rabble, I fawn with cringing servility on the first hand that
throws me a crust."
"Wrong, Marcel; wrong," I earnestly
answered. "You are trying to warp your nature, as you tried to
force the fruits of summer to bloom and ripen in midwinter. You will
be human, and your egg-plants will rot in the earth."
My words seemed to have taken away every particle
of color there was in him. His eyes contracted until they resembled
those of a wild animal, and for a moment I thought he was going to
spring at my throat. His voice—when finally he regained it—sounded
like that of another person.[Pg
55]
"M. Granger," said he, "a man
visiting the Jardin des Plantes once undertook to stroke a
leopard. Strange as it may appear, the animal was more pleased with
petting than the inquiring mind imagined. The instant our naturalist
attempted to desist, the creature raised his paw to strike. There
monsieur stood, for a whole night, gazing into his glaring eyes and
smoothing his soft neck. Can you imagine his feelings?"
With a bow that would have graced the Duc de
Beaumont, he left. I heard him hastily packing his modest wardrobe; and
in fifteen minutes a tilbury had whirled him away—whither, Heaven only
knows.
Leaf the Third.
I do not think his own mother would call him
handsome; he is certainly not young, nor particularly brilliant; and yet
there is a fascination about the proprietor of this rambling old house
that gave me an unaccountable desire to become his tenant. He is a
wine-merchant, and occupies, as his counting-room, the entire second
floor. The place is desolate-looking and dusty, and the furniture old
with service; but, I am told, no man in Paris controls more of the grand
vintages than M. Pontalba. With a Frenchman, the legality of a
transaction depends on its being negotiated in a café; and it
was in one of these I first saw him. He was seated at a table near me,
absorbed[Pg 56]
with the contents of a box of baby-clothes, while a rather pretty and
exceedingly voluble modiste harangued him on their beauty. The
tenderness of his expression struck me. He took out the articles one by
one, examining each with the interest of a woman. He ran his fingers
through the tiny sleeves, and smoothed out the ruffles and lace, with a
care that was almost loving. Diminutive cambric shirts, snowy dresses,
and silky flannels,—all in their turn were inspected and replaced with
a sigh of satisfaction.
An ardent young friend and I had been discussing
the merits of Comte's philosophy; but so attracted were we by the
singular trait that both stopped involuntarily, and watched him, until
the woman was paid and a messenger carried the fairy wardrobe away.
My friend was an enthusiastic metaphysician; and,
resuming the subject with a zest, was soon plunged into the phenomena of
thought, the action of the brain, and the vitality of the blood that
sustained it. As all conversant with the subject can readily believe,
not many minutes elapsed before his artful sophistries proved the
non-existence of heaven, hell, and even God himself.
M. Pontalba turned suddenly, and, drawing his
chair close beside us, with an apology for the seeming intrusion,
addressed the incipient skeptic:
"Behind the iron bars of that dreariest of
studies, a prison, a little weed once received the concentrated thought
of a savant. The covering of its stem, the[Pg
57] first tender leaves, the development of the bud, the
expansion of the flower—each bewildering in its consummate
propriety—unfolded, in their turn, a system of laws in simplicity
transcendent. By the aid of a microscope, a 'gillyflower' was seen
protecting a chrysalis. Warm leaves cherished it, dainty juices aided
its digestion, wholesome offshoots nourished it to maturity. Eking out a
scant existence between two granite flags, this insignificant waif
reared a caterpillar. What man are you, who can say there is no
God?"
There was a pathos in his voice, and a tone of
simple fervor, which gave that quiet old man the air of a priest.
It was more than a year afterward I took these
rooms; but my establishment was of short duration ere I learned the
history of an eventful morning which followed that incident:—of how
the placid face of the master peered among his people, beaming with a
great joy; how a sumptuous feast was fitted up in the private office for
all in the employ; of the two hundred francs, and a suit of clothes,
presented to each; and how every one, from the little messenger to the
gray cashier, with the rarest wine in the cellar, drank prosperity to
the new-born son and heir, and much happiness to the mother,—"God
bless her!"
Once I saw a pony-carriage, with an aged,
semi-military driver, pull up at the door, and the flutter of a[Pg
58] veil as the vehicle passed through the entrance; and this
was the only glimpse I ever caught of the little lady that dingy office
called mistress. There was, however, a certain briskness in the movement
of the clerks, and a glow of pleasure on their faces, that always
denoted a visit; and very frequent those visits were. Without in any way
obstructing it, her pretty interest seemed to throw a halo around the
dull routine of trade; and, if there was any unpleasantness, the arrival
of Jean Palliot, coachman and ex-grenadier, with Madame Althie Pontalba,
was sure to drive it away.
Why will my heart, like a hungry thing,
gloat on the happiness of others? He has gone away—in the midst of the
holidays—no one knows whither; and his sweet wife and pleasant home
are as dreary as I. There is a mystery about this house which I have not
yet unraveled. Marcel left in the morning, and M. Pontalba in the
evening. That has been two weeks ago. I thought he would have fainted
when I told him of the garçon's exodus. I attempted a history of
the gardening; but he would not listen to a word, and remained locked up
in his private room during the entire day. Late in the evening a
stranger called, and insisted on an interview. It resulted in a hasty
consultation with the cashier, and an order for a coach. The two went
off together,—whither, or for how long, no one knows.[Pg
59]
Leaf the Fourth.
To-day finds a man in the full glow of health, and
strength, and happiness; to-morrow comes death, cold, pitiless,
irresistible; mocking all hope, freezing desire, crushing all effort
with the eternal law of time and human destiny, it strikes him down with
the icy fury of a fiend. Poetry, passion, humanity, are shivered at the
touch. The glorious creature who, an instant before, quivered with life
and love and energy, lies a shapeless mass, disgusting to the sight,
loathsome to the touch, revolting to every instinct of our nature. So,
in its ceaseless routine, forever and forever, wheels on the world. The
play-ground bully, the swindler of the corn exchange, who is the more
virtuous? dolls with life, babies with genius, which the more sensible?
Even baby has its "pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake," and is lulled to
sleep with visions of a coach and six little ponies. Dreams, dreams of
self, that man wraps himself in like the swathing of a mummy. Who ever
saw a cake marked with "T," who ever a "Valley of
Tranquil Delight"?
The sun rises and sets on the weary diamond-digger
of the South, the crazed perfume-hunter in the East, the stifled
hemp-curer in the fetid swamps of Russia, the shriveled iron-worker in
the scorching furnaces of England. Here, in Paris, amid that motley herd
who[Pg 60]
feed on virtue, the moon shines down calmly on purblind embroiderers and
peerless beauties, on worn-out roués and squalid beggars. The
breeze that wafts to heaven the pure prayer of the maiden witnesses the
fierce ribaldry of the courtesan; it flutters the curls of a sleeping
infant, and bears on its wings the whispered exchange of chastity for
bread. And man goes on, devouring his three poor meals a day, and
babbling the meaningless nothings he has learned by rote. Oh, land of
enlightenment! Oh, age of Christianity! Oh, zenith of civilization!
The smoke-wreaths curl into thicker clouds. I have
painted bright pictures, and they have faded. I have cherished fond
dreams, and they are vanished. "It is not good for man to live
alone;" and I am most solitary. I can make another
picture,—without the roses; but it will be true.
It's a merry Christmas, this Twenty-fifth of
December, eighteen hundred and eighty-seven,—a very merry Christmas;
times have scarcely changed at all in the last thirty years. The sun
shines down brightly, and the frosty air is fall of gladness; for Santa
Claus, with his untold wonders, has come and gone. Ecstasies over dolls
and transports over tea-sets, screams of delight at hobby-horses and
enthusiastic exclamations at humming-tops, have passed. Paint-boxes and
writing-desks, leaden soldiers and tin trumpets, at last, are reduced to
blissful matters of course. The[Pg
61] streets, which all the morning have been thronged with
laughing groups of happy children, are now almost deserted. Senators and
cabmen, ministers of state and town constables, romping school-girls and
worn-out actresses, Lady Dedlock and her washer-woman, men,
women, and children of all degrees, have quietly seated themselves to
roasted turkey and plum-pudding. Even the little boys who will
play marbles under the library windows, who are constantly being
"fat" and wanting "ups" and "roundings,"
and who are invariably ordered to "knuckle down and bore it
hard," are now intently occupied with the succulent delights of
"drum-sticks" and gizzards. And yet the man whose fingers now
form these letters then sits alone. Time has not passed lightly
over his head. The few hairs that straggle from beneath his
skull-cap are gray, and the faintest breath makes him wrap closer in his
thickly-wadded dressing-gown. His face is worn and pale, and the
wrinkled hand, though it only holds a little cigarette, will sometimes
tremble as it moves. The Christmas dinner is pushed away untasted. Château-Margaux
has lost its flavor, and silver and crystal do not bring appetite now.
Even the glowing sunshine, which plate-glass and silk damask cannot keep
out, is unheeded. He gazes wearily at the magnificent furniture, and
smokes. He has talked much to the world, and it has heard him. Flung
into life without a friend, governed only by the[Pg
62] will of a race born to command, he has struggled through
sneers and sarcasm to eminence. Men fear him now, women flatter, nearly
all envy; yet he is alone. He knows this; he knows that in all the
laughing groups who enjoy this wine-drinking and turkey-eating day his
name has not been mentioned once. Nature allows no trifling with her
laws; flowers do not bloom in deserts. He has crushed sentiment; he has
stifled affection. With a heart by nature kindly, he sits now an image
cut in steel. He gazes calmly at his desolate hearth, at his joyless
age, and smokes. Man has no power to move him; fate condemned him to be
a statue.
Ah! the strongest, after all, are but weak,
erring, human beings. The last of a race stands weary and old, trembling
on the brink of eternity. Who will close the fading eye? Who will smooth
the dying pillow? With all his great wealth, with all his wondrous
knowledge, what one deed of charity will that infirm old man take into
the presence of his Creator? He looks dreamingly out at the window. The
plate-glass and damask are not there now; the sunshine is warm and the
air balmy. A mild, breezy March morning, and he is standing on a corner,
looking far down the street. "She is coming, coming;" the dark
eyes beam on him, and the radiant face flushes the pallor of his
cheek;—"come." He gives one lingering, beseeching look at
the passing figure, the cigarette[Pg
63] drops to the carpet, the withered hands clasp
convulsively the arms of the chair, the gray head slowly falls on his
breast, and one more frail human being, exhausted with the anxieties of
a long and bitter life, is at rest forever. It's a merry Christmas, this
Twenty-fifth of December, eighteen hundred and eighty-seven,—a very
merry Christmas. Times have scarcely changed at all in the last thirty
years.
How he ever got there, or when, I do not now, nor
will I ever, know, but when I looked up Marcel was standing before me.
"M. Granger," said he, abruptly,
"it will be necessary for you to seek another lodging."
"Why?"
"I would do you a service. The proof lies in
the future. This house is doomed."
"Poor Marcel," said I, with genuine
pity, "some recent trouble has turned your brain!"
"Mad!" he replied, laughing bitterly.
"The wonder is that I am not. For years I have been
hunted,—hunted like a dog. Prisons have been my dwelling-place,
disguises my only clothing. My pillow is a spy; the very atmosphere I
breathe is analyzed."
"And what is your offense?"
"A desire to live as the great God intended
an Italian should. A desire to lift to his place among the free-born the
corrupt descendant of Coriolanus, now nourishing his miserable body on
the scudi extorted[Pg
64] from a stranger's patience. The vile crew whom our
ancestors drove howling and naked across the Danube, in undisturbed
apathy gloat over our dearest treasures. Our people are ground into the
dust; our women, stripped in the market-place, shriek under the pitiless
lash of the oppressor. One man, sworn to protect Italy with his life,
can save her, and has refused. That man dies."
"And you are pledged to kill him?"
"I am pledged to see you safely without these
walls by this day fortnight."
"And you?"
"I remain."
"Marcel, you are crazy."
"M. Granger, you are polite."
That night fortnight I was away; and this was the
message that sent me:
"To M. Arthur Granger:
"Your fatal discovery on the morning of my
departure makes you the only man to whom I can appeal. Let me pray the
appeal be not in vain. In the folly of my youth, while sojourning in
Italy, I joined a powerful secret order, whose demands cease only with
death, and whose penalty for denial is a sudden and bloody end. You
can judge, then, my anxiety on being compelled to admit to my
establishment, disguised as a servant, one of its highest officers,
and my horror at[Pg
65] hearing of his abrupt departure. Since then I have
learned the unhappy cause. My life is in another's hands. It is for
him to command, and for me blindly to obey. There are two beings in
this world dearer to me than my soul's salvation. To you, M. Granger,
as a Christian gentleman, I commend them. The sealed note inclosed
(the contents of which are a matter of life and death) I beg you will
at once deliver to my wife; and let me conjure you, until the crisis
is over, to make my house at Romainville your home.
"Édouard Pontalba."
Leaf the Last.
This is the 15th of January, 1858. France is in a
blaze of excitement. Last evening, in the Rue Lepelletier, an
attempt was made to assassinate the Emperor, by throwing grenades filled
with fulminating mercury under the coach that bore the Imperial family
to the Italian Opera. Count Felice Orsini, the murderer, himself
desperately wounded, has been arrested, and Paris is crying for his
blood.
For several days I have been the honored guest of
Madame Althie Pontalba. It is a golden evening; the sky, an hour ago so
clear and blue, is piled with golden clouds, and stretches out into
golden rivers, with golden banks, flowing calmly down into a golden sea.
The purple slates on the church-steeple, the red[Pg
66] tiles on the house-tops, the gardens with their
evergreens and jonquils and little blue violets shrinking out of the
frosty air, are wrapped in a golden mist. The light streams through the
windows in rays of pure gold, and trickles down the walls in little
golden currents. It is an enchanting little villa. The steep gables
covered with variegated slate, the thin fluted columns of the verandas,
the diminutive marble steps, the broad bow-windows with their
transparent plate-glass, look more like a fairy picture than a reality.
The trim shrubbery, the airy little statues, and even the white palings,
so frail and fanciful in their construction, are charmingly appropriate.
It is an enchanting little room. The icy air is
warmed by the bright carpet and glowing curtains, and the trickling
currents of golden light on the walls are mellowed by the blazing
sea-coals. It is a merry little fire, an ardent, earnest, home
fire, that shoots out its whimsical little flames as if it meant to burn
one to a cinder, and flutters and murmurs to itself and scatters down
the white feathery ashes in a very ecstasy of impetuous glee. The green
porcelain tiles on the hearth, the oval-shaped chairs, the wonderful
tables, and the little easy-chair, are all flushed up, and seem quite
enlivened at its sportive tricks. The silver sewing-bird, with its
glittering little garnet eyes, is peering curiously down at the painted
fish-geranium on the teapot; and the geranium, sweltering by the[Pg
67] fire, seems almost wilted with the heat. The teapot pants
and struggles under its steaming contents, and looks appealingly at the
great china cup on the table; and now a lump of sparkling sugar is
dropped into its shiny recesses, and the fragrant odor of that gentlest
soother of troubled thoughts pervades the room.
How shall I describe the mistress of this fairy
resting-place, as she sits in the softened light of this golden winter
evening, with the trickling golden currents and the quivering firelight
playing on her dress, and the last rays of the sunshine melting into
golden threads in her hair? How can I picture the look of girlish
innocence on her face, the artless grace of her manner, her delicate
feminine ways, and the dainty arrangement of her toilet? How can I tell
of the irresistible charm that pervades every article about her, from
the little French boot resting on the rug, to the ruffle that circles
her white throat? The balmy morning of her young life has passed. The
brown calico frock, and the little school bonnet, with its blue veil,
have been put away forever. The lithe figure has grown matronly, the
childish timidity is gone; the softened face tells of changes,—changes
made by much happiness; changes also, alas! by trouble.
The dark eyes beam with a deeper tenderness, with
a wealth of maternal devotion, with a world of maternal anxiety. The
aurora, with its hazy glow, has disappeared, and now the sun shines
brightly on the[Pg
68] early day; yet through all the love, and all the care,
and all the joy of her pure life, remains that radiant smile, the
glorious creation of a glorious God, that awakens in man one
sensation,—tranquillity. O man, with the joy of your own young
love, O woman blessed with a remembrance of earlier days, is it needful
I should say, Madame Althie Pontalba is the Little Blue Veil?
There were two visitors here an hour ago,—a lady
and a gentleman. Whatever their lack of ostentation, there was an air of
distinction about both that would strike the most casual observer.
The cabriolet was plain, but the horses showed the
purest blood, and the harness and equipments a neatness one would not
see in a day's ride. The gentleman was tall and stately, with a
well-shaped aquiline nose, and a mustache and imperial pointed à la
militaire; and the lady was petite and graceful, with a face of rare
loveliness. The features of both told plainly of a great trial bravely
endured. The lady entered alone. Her carriage and demeanor possessed all
that quiet elegance which is only met with in the society of the great;
but it was with no courtly speech she addressed the mistress of this
quiet home. To twine her arms lovingly around that dear form, to draw it
close to her bosom, to pour out, in a voice broken with tears, a burst
of gratitude, was the mission. In moments when hearts are wrung, we do
not[Pg 69]
practice our grand politeness. A noble life had been saved, a terrible
calamity averted. The polished manner of the salon was dropped. A
wife spoke, a woman listened. The visit was already a long
one when Jean Palliot took charge of the equipage, and, on leaving, it
was into his hand the gentleman thrust a roulette of Napoleons.
"Sir," cried the indignant coachman,
"a soldier of the Grand Army is not a beggar."
"It is not the gold, but the portraits of his
commander I give the soldier of the Grand Army."
"Mon Dieu!" exclaimed the now
affrighted veteran, "it is Napoleon!—Vive l'Empereur!"
Of the history of that attempt on the life of
Napoleon, the world is fully informed. That, thanks to a fortunate
warning, the Imperial coach was lined with boiler-iron, is well known.
That warning, by direction of her husband, was written by Madame Althie
Pontalba, and delivered by me.
That the destructive missiles were manufactured in
Birmingham, England, our Minister Plenipotentiary has good cause to
remember; but that they were smuggled into Paris in the guise of
egg-plants, and deposited in the grass-plot in rear of house No. 30 of
that now memorable street, I believe is still a mystery.[Pg
70]
That Count Felice Orsini (the man executed) was
concealed for weeks, is on record at the Prefecture; but that he assumed
the position of a servant, and the name of Marcel, is not.
As for me, I think a great deal, and say nothing;
but if the young Pontalba, who now studies type-setting with the Prince
Imperial, was not the baby whose clothes I once saw examined at a café
there is no truth in these "Leaves of an Idler."[Pg
71]
MR.
BUTTERBY RECORDS HIS CASE.[A]
J. Moses Butterby, aged 40 years; a licensed
broker; nativity, American; temperament, sanguine; habit, slightly
obese; constitution, robust. History of the case as related by himself.
I don't see how I ever came to be married.
It was certainly the last thing my friends expected of me, and it was
the last thing I ever expected of myself; but that I am married, Mrs. J.
Moses Butterby, and Master Alphonso Moses Butterby, are both here to
testify.
What so aristocratic a family found in me to
admire is as much a secret now as then. I don't think it was intellect;
for I am afraid that when Nature designed me the "shining"
element was left out. Somehow, at school, the composition sent to the
village journal was never mine; the declamation repeated at every fresh
arrival of directors was always another's; and if, by any chance, a
visitor asked to hear a recitation, under no circumstances was I ever
invited to show off. My[Pg
72] m |